01 July 2007

Web search for the humor in technology, world news, celebrities and mad events | 15 July 2007 | 24 June 2007

What's Ed been blogging about?

Filed in: Recaps

For the visitors who like to see at a glance what has been posted throughout the site this week, eyes to the right. For a resumé of last week's posts, eyes down.

HungryFlix will feed your new iPhone with video content.

Interview CEOs I satirised a serious post from the France-based blog, Tech It Easy.

Hari interrogation is one of the best pisstaker interviews so far.

Funny truck sign When you are out and about, there is no telling what you will see.

The full list of last week's articles
.

...

7 wonders of the world

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Every day Ed picks a topic, does a web search and picks the bones out of various international blogs. The varied viewpoints and opinions coupled with Ed's humor should make you think, grimace and grin.

You can't get more international than this topic! There are 20 wonders on the shortlist, 90 million votes so far. What's in the running for the final 7 on 07.07.07?

This is Mudhenge, not in the running. However, I have seen Stonehenge, and the only wonder angle I can think about that pile of stones is: how come the British army has never sent a stray shell from the local firing range even remotely close and ended the charade? Or were the Martian builders so advanced they put up a Star Wars style defence shield around the site and nothing can penetrate it?

Another genuine wonder is the Alhambra. If pink and gardens are your thing, you should vote for it. I was neither a fan of pink nor flowers and shrubs before I went, but it is a totally mind blowing structure. I wonder if Bin laden would blow that place up, situated as it is in the middle of an infidel stronghold a few miles from where he used to go party in Marbella, Spain?

The US sneaks into the frame with the Statue of Liberty standing proud alongside another French creation, the Eiffel Tower. If nasty terrorists have their way, there will be zero wonders left standing in the western World, but if we are lucky, it will be the Leaning Tower of Eiffel and the crown currently atop the statue in New York harbor will be round the good lady's neck.

The best way to include people who want to destroy the modern world, but at the same time keep them out of our harm's way, is to incarcerate them in the wondrous Neuschwanstein castle, former home to the "Mad King" Ludwig, and inspiration for Sleeping Beauty's castle. If it works out correctly, bin laden could become number one of 7 fellow prisoners in the 7th wonder of the world. That 7th of 7 of 7 thing must stand for something?

My personal vote would go to The Great Wall of China. When the astronauts come back and say the earth is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, you know what they really meant to say was , "Man that wall is awesome from up there." But that isn't exactly politically correct.

Do you have a preference from an incredible array of wonders?

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Weighing in on Old testament ways

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

I read a comical reply to an over-zealous radio host. The chat show nitwit stupidly quoted the Old testament as the yardstick by which to judge and condemn homosexuality. The riposte entitled Why Can't I own a Canadian? is a worthwhile read for all those who need some worldly wise perspective on life.

The respondent to the bible basher, Jim, must have googled for ages, but came up with all sorts of dodgy bible-related rules of behavior that put the DJ goon's original idea right back in its place amongst the most archaic, out of context, stupid categories of our time. From selling his daughter into slavery, as per Exodus, to slaughtering a bull as stated in Levi, he proved beyond all reasonable doubt that there is almost no place for old testament style thinking in most 21st century situations.

Off the top of my bible bashed head, perhaps I would agree that taking tablets is a good idea when up a high mountain, but only if you anticipate being over 10000 feet where altitude sickness kicks in. Tablets for writing down important ideas on, that sounds a bit impractical in the era of iPhones and ball-point pen and paper. And if I were the almighty, I would be very careful where I pulled a burning bush illusion at this time of year. Lake Tahoe wouldn't be a cool location, for starters, unless you wanted to risk an old testament / modern day Iran style stoning from touchy recently displaced residents.

If you have any more irreligious irrelevancies to bring to the table, you are welcome to pin them to the door on your way through.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here. This site has been completely widgetized. Check it out.

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Winners and losers

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

The theory goes that if you don't come first you lose. But if you don't win, does that make you a loser?

Olympians are supposed to take part for the love and privilege of being a part of the Olympic spirit, but the deep-down reaction probably varies depending on where you are in your career. At their peak, the Carl Lewises or Michael Johnsons were expected to win, and usually did, but if the favorites came in second or third they hurt. They wished they had tried harder, been smarter, thought more, or thought less about what they had to do to win, win, win. In their heads, they lost.

Contrast the elitists' approach to perfection with the attitude of the Equatorial Guinean swimmer. His completion of the 100m heat at the Sydney Olympics - without drowning - was in itself his gold medal. And watching his reaction to the warm reception of the spectators made the point that the Olympic spirit did still exist despite the massive commercialism. There is a place for losers.

Losers who become winners

Attitude to winning is all-important, and the Bolivian soccer team proved that it is possible to turn losing streaks around at any time and become a winner. With an 11-year losing streak away from home, they went to South Africa, stuck to their task and won! Of course, the losing side saw their own "lack of victory" as abject failure and a setback on their part, but when the only two options in your head are win or lose, what can you expect but disappointment for one side?

Tour de France Runners-up who became winners

In terms of attitude towards winning and losing, an interesting phenomenon occurred during Armstong's Tour de France reign. There was a handful of amazing cyclists, some of the most single-minded disciplined athletes in competition today, and anyone of them could have won the event gloriously, if Lance hadn't been taking part, (or in Beloki's case in 2003 if he hadn't crashed!) But Armstrong was on a charge and everyone else had to change their mindsets completely, or go mad. Natural born winners like Beloki had to reprogram the chip and see second as their ultimate victory. Interesting, I think, imagining the development of motivational tactics within cycle team managers' heads, turning all they held dear on its head, deeming second and third a victory!

Losers who get famous on their loser status

Eddie The Eagle Edwards took up 90m ski jumping with no trainer, and almost no kit. Unlike the elite athletes who soared like true eagles past the 100m mark, Eddie the ex-plumber would almost fall off the end of the ramp and make 50 wobbly meters, thanks to gravity and fortune. And that he didn't break his neck was more miracle than technique. And in typical British spirit, he acknowledged he was crap but was having a good laugh, and became momentarily famous for sucking.

The Phillies are due to become the first baseball franchise to reach 10,000 losses. There is a new website celebrating the pending milestone, or is it millstone. Perhaps the aim is to shame the team into not reaching that loser mark? Or is there a deep-seated acceptance of failure? Really, despite the alleged demands for perfection, even Philly fans are cool with the knowledge that someone, in fact almost everyone, has to lose in the winning process, so why not celebrate the achievements of a team that tends to not win more than any other?

With 8 matches and 3 losses needed, you can bet the house that the Phillies will not clock up loss 10,000 this season. Under the spotlight they will stand tall and bat the crap out of the opposition - and the opportunist webmaster will have another bout of traffic early next season.

Who are the biggest or worst losers you know of?

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here.

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Independence Day

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Every day Ed picks a topic, does a web search and picks the bones out of various international blogs. The varied viewpoints and opinions coupled with Ed's humor should make you think, grimace and grin.

It is Independence Day in the USA, but this isn't the only country to have kicked the shit out the occupiers and gone it alone. There are many other brave nations that haven't had it quite so good since doing their own thing

The fuzzy wuzzies didn't manage to remove Kitchener from Sudan at the turn of the last-but-one century, but a polite please in the 1950's did see off the Imperialists once and for all. Read the potted history of a troubled African nation from a guy with a name the Empire would be proud of.

Independence to create your own fair legal system is a wonderful thing. For instance, did you know Sudan has borders with 9 countries? Imagine the field day the Sudanese Customs people have had since 1956, confiscating such a wide variety of merchandise for their own personal consumption without fear of reprisals from any imperialist occupying leaders.

Sweden seems such a peaceable country full of Volvos, beautiful blondes and ABBA music, but in 1905, they were mad at their neighbors, the super power that was Norway. They were so mad, the Swedes sought independence, and after a quick arm-wrestle between kings, they got it.

Since that momentous occasion, Swedes have developed a highly advance social system where everything important in life is freely available within reason - due to a high tax burden with few loopholes for the ultra wealthy to exploit. Well, so the Swedish tax theory goes.

For the most important Independence Day of the lot, the President in this synopsis-less film said, I saw... its thoughts. I saw what they're planning to do. They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource they move on... and we're next. Nuke 'em. Let's nuke the bastards. This sounds like a typical reaction for any leader seeing his slice of earth being threatened by foreign beings.

And on a more personal universal level, independence can come in many different forms. Here are a few ideas!

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Snort or fart

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

The burning question on many people's lips in The I Eat Snowman's Poop community is: Would you rather snort marbles from your nose or fart confetti (from an obvious locale)?

Apparently 4 out of 4 respondents gave the same answer, but as I did not want to spoil the drama, I did not look. Instead, I posed the question and one answer stood out.

I would rather fart confetti, because at least I could hide the fact that I had done it.

That took me by surprise, because, as a guy, I would want everyone to know I could do that. Quite the trick for weddings, I thought. When the Best Man announces outside the church, "Here come the bride and groom, everyone, get ready to shower them in confetti." old super farter could drop his pants and let rip. Many free drinks would be coming my way, for sure.

I did not inhale

And another person asked, When you say "snort marbles", is that inhaling or exhaling?

As a clean living pisstaker, I didn't know you could inhale anything apart from fresh air and smells, but you live and learn. I now write this post from A&E at the local hospital, preparing to have a long pair of tweezers inserted in my left nostril. I don't recommend trying this marble (inhale) snorting trick at home.

Thanks IESP for this most deep of questions.

Enjoy the content.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here. This site has been completely widgetized. Check it out.

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Soccer world madness

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Every day Ed picks a topic, does a web search and picks the bones out of various international blogs. The varied viewpoints and opinions coupled with Ed's humor should make you think, grimace and grin.

Soccer is known as the beautiful game - for its simplicity and grace when played at the highest level, usually by the Brazilians. It is also dirty, tarnished with scandal and global like no other sport. Love it or hate it, most humans in the world fixate on the game and opine till the cows, wildebeest and yaks come home.

Simon is from Portugal and makes a good case for producing the best wingers in the world. It is hard to argue with that. On the other hand, it is hard to argue against the claim that the Portuguese in the recent World Cup, especially super star, Figo, seemed hell bent on cheating the referee. And as for Ronaldo, click the knot to read about how his one trick got him in trouble. Funny..

Who Ate all the Pies is a soccer blog with a cracking title. It refers to a chant by English soccer fans ridiculing fat athletic soccer players.

Paul "Fatboy" Gascoigne was one of those mythical players who had more talent than he knew what to do with, so, especially after breaking his leg early on, he drunk and ate, cried and stupefied his way through to the end of his career under-acheiving like a hero.

The real Ronaldo, the Big Boy from Brazil. Wonderboy striker and king of the cake eating competition three years running, Ronny is also called "Beaver", for his unfortunate front teeth arrangement. However, if his gorgeous wife is anything to go by, most guys on the hunt for a perfect partner could do with similar overbites and one big fat ass.

Over-weight referees, (also known by the glamorous title of The bastards in the black) get the Pie treatment too.

Tim Wang reveals the extent of Chinese soccer fanaticism with this great story. One thing is sure, when China takes over the world, at least soccer will still be safe.

Totally finally, here is footage of Chile v Ecuador in the Copa de America, a cracking game and no assassinations afterwards. The syndicates must have missed this one.

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

Talking with drunks

Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Ed the Editor's personal blog corner

I was chatting with a guy today and the conversation seemed normal and relatively intelligent, but then it dawned on me that some of the words coming back at me didn't make a whole lot of sense.

He says

"I hear ye. You now what I'm saying?"

"Well, no," I was thinking, "actually, I haven't got a fricking clue what you are saying."

There was no escape, I had to converse, but I was treading water fast. I thought perhaps I was missing out on the humor and the guy had a super sharp wit. So "Hah, that's funny!" is what I actually replied and I grinned and kept paying attention. But a few seconds later, I noticed his eyes. They were widening, then squinting, reddening, shining.

Bingo, the pressure was off. I hadn't been conversing with my intellectual superior at all, well, at least not today, but I had been chatting with someone stoned. I relaxed and switched into cruise and nod and smile politely mode. What else can you do when a person has 50% of their brain numbed, while the other half of their head is half-functioning in cretin mode?

Repeating "Sure, yeah, right, good one!" interspersed with meaningful nods, I kept out of trouble and kept him talking more and more crap. But at least in this case he was friendly and harmless and boring as hell. He repeatedly said how he was my friend and he would see I was alright. Short of saying, I love you , man, he bombarded me with every drunken male-bonding word in the dictionary..

We eventually parted company still buddies, although I was bored rigid and in need of a drink by then - which is a sad state of affairs for a teetotaller to be in. Oh the evil drink has so many victims. .

Bad drunks

In my experience, when faced with bad drunks, the obnoxious aggressive bozo ones, there is little point talking and no point reasoning with them. In fact any utterance adds to the likelihood of misunderstandings, and who knows where an innocent throwaway sentence could land you.

So just be nice to drunks and walk away. And if they can't be nice, you stop being nice. Oh sorry, I lapsed into roadhouse mode - the half brain dead cretinous macho barroom brawl approach from the 90's.

Me, I used to fall asleep when heavily under the influence. What do you do when you get tipsy / stoned / blind drunk?

Enjoy the content.

If you ever miss a day without Ed, all the blogspots are here. This site has been completely widgetized. Check it out.

Participate in link-a-post

"Your name" is a Kiva lender	"Your site's screenshot" SmartLink Widget	Funny HQ humor store

...

MyBloglog Sunday 15

Filed in: MBL sunday

Today MyBlogLog Sunday staggers under a new ruling into part 15 at the Pisstakers.

We are gathered here today to witness a new dawn in interactivity on MyBlogLog Sunday.

Up till now, if you called by The Pisstakers on a Sunday morning before I started blogging, you might have been captured in the screen shot and given a mini review too. Easy money for a spot on a PR5 site.

The new request /rule/guideline/plea is:
In order to improve the quality of this feature even more, I am also asking aspiring MBL Sunday participants who call by before 10-11am Sunday mornings, to post a link in this comments box, leading me (and the masses) to the best post of the week on your own blog. (Or perhaps share news of some snazzy new development or feature on your site.) If I have a post / info to look at, I will mini review you. If there is no link to check out, sorry, but, I won't, and you will be noticeable by your absence!

Jump in and win-win, because even if you call by on a Sunday and leave a link but don't end up on the last 10 on the widget, you still get to plug your blog post!

Just for this transitional week, I am emailing you guys on the widget and giving you till 6pm to leave a link. Good to you aren't I. I will launch the new mini reviews with glee later this evening.

Next week, back to a 10-11am screenshot schedule and mini reviews out by mid afternoon.

So endeth the lesson.

MyBlogLog Sunday prize winner

A pound of gummi bears and a review is on offer to the blogger from last week's featured blogs who referred the most traffic to The Pisstakers before midnight this Saturday.

Another hats off to Larry Hnetka. A double dose of gelatinous delight heading over to Canada. The biggest traffic hitters are the funny quote widget and Stumble Upon, but I never get to mini review them, so, everyone reviewed does have a fair chance of winning.

DoFollow
I think if you enable Dofollow with a twist , whenever I leave a comment on your site, if someone clicks on the Ed link to The Pisstakers, that would register in my stats and log another visitor from your site. Worth a thought on the trail for gummis.

Permalink is permanent
All mini reviews from today are instantly added to the archives, so you can get a permanent back link to your mini review when it appears later today.