I am about to head off on a 48-hour trip to California, which means sunshine for me and no blog post for you on Saturday. Sorry about that.

But don't despair, because on Sunday, as the Californian governor is rumored to have said in an earlier life, I'll be back. And with a vengeance too, thanks to a great idea by OS9 user.

Ed's on film

In a nutshell, OS9 User is going to create some breaking news and video the whole MyBlogLog Sunday 29 event, and upload the production to Youtube!

He will be starting by video-ing the first post I make Sunday morning (the one where I show a screenshot and announce the 10 MyBlogLog blogs to be mini-reviewed). Then he will return on Monday to film himself surfing MBL Sunday, reading the mini reviews and taking a look around each of the featured sites.

If the featured blogs post something about their appearance in MBL Sunday, he will spend a little longer perusing their site, with the cameras rolling. By Wednesday, it will all be edited and playing live on Youtube.

How cool is that for the 10 participants, The Pisstakers and the modest OS9 User, who doesn't want his name splattered all across this event!!?

Hasta la vista, babys, and make sure you all dressed up for the only place to go on Sundays. And OS9 User, thanks very much, mate, for trying out such a cool promo idea on this site. I will try to focus like never before and if I get filmed uncrossing my legs I will make sure I have my undies on.

If you got it, flaunt it, as they say. Yesterday, CNN's world business site carried a story about the China bank preparing to buy a US bank as part of its international expansion plans. To add some weight to the story, CNN offer a handful of relevant blog posts from around the internet, and lo and behold, Chinese Housewives coming to America from Ed was one of them!



I don't know that I should claim to be a world authority on this particular topic, never having been to China or interviewed a Shanghai housewife, but in my more lucid moments, I have been trotting out a thesis about Chinese economic domination for sometime now.

With this touch of recognition from CNN, I may be prompted to take this subject to new lows and research a few more angles. Whatever happens in the future, though, I know I will live in the past for some time to come, ogling this post, emailing it to friends, highlighting it on my CV, changing my theme to a red-based CNN style color scheme.

Happy days, comrades.

Sit back and grimace, and don't dare laugh. Laughing is not good for you when it comes at the expense of others in pain - not.


To add something to the pain conversation, I once made a few builders laugh uncontrollably when I stepped backwards onto a section of new roof where some bright spark had laid a sheet of tar paper (not plywood) straight over a section of exposed beams.

I still wince as I remember dropping like a stone and landing with all my weight, nuts first, onto a beam. I don't mind admitting I was not happy, suspended on my crotch with a look of total surprise, then horror on my face. It took all the wind out me, and to say my eyes were watering and stomach was churning would be an understatement.

It would also be understating the truth to say that my colleagues were laughing politely. They were laughing till they were almost sick.

It must be a bloke thing, laughing not in glee, but in relief that it isn't you with your balls in your throat?

Needless to say, I hobbled down the ladder and spent half an hour sitting in a van feeling very sorry for myself. My boss, a true clown, stopped by to see how I was doing, handed me a business card and quipped. "Sadie will check you out and make sure it's all still working properly."

I'm sure Madam would have done a thorough inspection, but that is pure conjecture on my part. I wasn't being paid enough to afford that sort of private health care.

To celebrate 392 RSS readers, the highest recorded number so far on our xFruits Mega Feed, I asked visitors to write a 50 word post on any story featured in the RSS feed. The most amusing or engaging would win a $39 Kingston memory card suitable for a camera, GPS, MP3 player, or PDA.

Three cheers to the three entrants, Rob, OS9 User and Link and Earn, an almighty Thank you to the extra RSS feed readers



and a round of applause to those who didn't take part - you have convinced me that I need to try a lot harder to encourage / remind / cajole bloggers to participate in contests at The Pisstakers.

I think that more visitors view content via the RSS fed than via the homepage, so I should probably have paid more attention to the needs of the RSS format ie banged on about the contest on a daily basis so it constantly appeared as new material - and offered a new glitzy camera instead of a memory card. Just a thought.

Anyway, it all worked out.

The three finalists in no particular order were:

Rob from 2 Dolphins wrote a cool post, and also included a smashing graphic of yours truly in all his grinning glory. To further butter me up, (and make it almost impossible for me not to award him the prize) he inferred that it was better late than never to acknowledge his appearances on MyBlogLog Sunday. Hear hear! At this stage of deliberations, Rob is winning, but there is more competition on the way, so hang on for just a moment there, Rob, we don't want any premature e-celebrations...

OS9 User has been a recent fave find and his Breaking news Site has been featured on MyBlogLog Sunday a few times too. In return, he has been diligently promoting the event without being asked, which makes him the new xFruits RSS contest leader by a couple of brownie points.

He has also suggested I prepare an MBL Sunday promo banner for him to put on his site. This is a great idea, and almost single-handedly won him the memory card outright - but not quite. This request has put me under a great deal of self-imposed pressure, because I want to oblige, but it comes at a time when my creative juices are running dry - (no sympathy, please just throw money) - I lay awake at night stressing, but just can't think of a worthy design. I feel so inadequate. So, until the juices return, and until I have also reviewed entrant number 3, I will have to hold fire in crowning OS9 User as runaway victor...

Link and Earn, braggers supreme, wrote a creative post about the incentive to win this memory card competition. Firstly, their own fading peanut memories need a boost, and second, if they won, how cool to practice what they preach on their own site and brag about a contest victory of their own. See, they are hungry to win.

I admit that a memory card isn't exactly a scintillating prize, but better than a kick in the privates. And if you desperately need one, (which L&E clearly do) there is enough incentive in this contest to go beyond the call of duty (and the RSS feed) and dive into the archives. On their trip down my memory lane, they came up with a true story about my flight with Air india. Kudos. The final decision is still up in the air, but their insatiable diligence and determination may not go unrewarded.

The winner

Therefore, after much deliberation, double negatives and head-banging:

Comiserations to the losers who didn't participate

Well done to the participants who didn't win

I can proudly, loudly, gladly announce the winner as.... Link and Earn. Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Send me a postal address and the memory card will be on its way shortly.

Till next time.

Dede at 2 Dolphins finds 10 things to do with a plastic bag. I shudder to think what the sandwiches taste like after recycling the shopping bag into a doggy-do collector into a lunch bag.

I thought OS9 User was losing his breaking news touch with a story about Vista crashing, but it seems he has insider info on corporate buyers who insist on upgrading their PC depts with XP. THAT's interesting.

Link and Earn (not Link and Learn as I mistakenly wrote earlier) encourage you to brag about your contest victories. Will they be shouting about a memory card contest victory of their own, later?

For illuminating posts about New England lighthouses go no further than Debbie Dolphin. She also re-named me Peon Whisperer, so as not to put off her PG readers from visiting my flashy XXX site.

From Photos to Search Engines to Techipedia, Tamar seems to be inquisitive, curious, knowledgeable and a prolific blogger with the writing energy of a small power station.

"I’m quiet, mysterious and hardworking ...." Blogging is obviously a perfect platform for the 10th of March. Out of interest, do they reveal themselves on this special day, or is that all part of the mystery?

Gulp, a CSS expert getting reviewed on The Pisstakers, a site whose Tech section crashes Safari. I can't stand the shame, but you should check out LA Lindsey for a shed load of her WP themes.

Cheesy Marketing Ramblings is a title guaranteed to grab the attention of a Pisstaker. As a bonus, the posts are top notch too, with loads of links, good points & humor. I think I best go there for my material.

Terri has expanded her horizons beyond a daily work, home and play blog and is heading into photo terri-tory. Snaps of cats and nature and one-liners show another side to her never-a-dull-moment life.

Another gulp, this time I have to review Andy Beard, an authority in the glam world of Blog search engine performance, Wordpress & general niche & affiliate marketing tips. Famous for... (shit, I run out of space.)

OK - MyBlogLog Sunday is over for another day.

The lady center stage had a new nose stud, which attracted a few comments of "Oooh, isn't it lovely." "Oooh, do you have to stick your finger up your nose to get it out?" "Oooh, did it hurt?" She answered negatory to all of them.

I was dying to say that I thought it looked gash, and a ring would have been more suitable for a nose like hers, but who am I to criticize?

Then she was asked if she had had her tongue pierced. "Yes, but I took it out and it healed over in a few hours." When asked why she'd had it removed she said, "It damaged my teeth." That response caught everyone by surprise, but apparently it is very tempting to clunk your studded tongue over your teeth and it chips the enamel.

I was dying to ask if she'd had another sensory body part pierced, and if so, had that damaged her boyfriend's teeth too, but who am I?

Mulling over these questions in my head, I was starting to smile. But then I started to squirm when asked why I was smiling.

Erm. Women can be so cruel sometimes, and they all three stared at me. Judging by the laughter, I didn't need to spell out the first question on my mind, but I wasn't going red about that one. All I could think of was a third question buzzing round my head, and I sure as hell was not going to ask a stranger without a sense of humor, "So how long does it take for holes in that department to heal over?"

When they first lay eyes on the word PISStakers, many people seem to get the wrong idea about this site. And out of a misplaced belief that my niche is urine-oriented grows the concern that this is not a family-oriented site. Gulp.

The short answer:

I write for everybody with an interest in a humorous view of the world beyond their 4 walls, so I get mortally (well, slightly) offended when it is intimated that I run a filthy adult haven of iniquity. (mock horror.)

If some people did a bit more research into what a pisstaker actually is, life would be less fraught for all concerned. And if PG-obsessed people were less quick to label vaguely challenging material written in a slightly rough-round-the-edges way, as not suitable for the family, I wouldn't need to take this post down a non-PG route to defend my territory!

Long answer:

I have had a few amusing reminders that people don't understand the word Pisstaker. One guy would only refer to the site as Ptakers; someone else has renamed me completely to save their PG readers from a fate worse than death, and another blogger even left a blank where my name should have gone... I don't mind, it is funny to me, and who am I to make fun of people who feel uncomfortable yet still support a site they enjoy reading. Much better than PG-ists writing a site off on behalf of those they are supposed to introduce to a big wide world of different and non-sugar-coated ideas.

If I were an adult X-rated blogger who delighted in humiliating individuals rather than highlighting issues in general terms, I would say that XY and Z bloggers who deem the Pisstakers as unsuitable for families, are examples of people with a poor grasp of English and / or minds far more twisted than mine. To take offense, they must see Pisstakers and instantly imagine that this is a site promoting buckets of pee and golden showers. Disappointment must be the reason why hundreds of visitors unfamiliar with the term, but au fait with all the nuances of urine, only hang around for less than 30 seconds. Huh, no real piss here, best get off at the next Stumble site for my dose of wee.

To counter the concerns of many English-speaking folk with an (ungrounded) fear of the word, pisstaker, but the presence of mind to at least do a little research before heading off, I have placed a permalink to wikipedia in the first dialog box on the homepage, explaining the meaning of this disgusting foreign English word.

Pisstaker is a foul term used regularly by such despotic family-disoriented folks such as my butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth mother. Millions of other English-speaking people outside America with a sense of humor also enjoy taking the piss, (michael, mickey or rise) out of inconsistencies in people. Nobody bats an eye if you are the butt of a joke and you ask, "Are you taking the piss?"

As you can see from my use of foul term, I am taking the piss out of people who are offended by my site's name, because it is about as offensive a term as shit, in the US English expression, This is the shit. Not too rude to Americans, but shocking to some Brits with a self righteous pole up their ass, and a disinterest in finding out what a nuance of language really means before writing it off as rude. Yes, hysterical isn't it that they may think that a site called the shit is written by people with a pile of steaming faeces in their grubby paw.

Is the Pisstakers family-oriented?

This talk about taking offense at an inoffensive word leads on nicely to my bemusement at a mini fixation about whether this site is PG family oriented. Officially, no! I didn't think I was writing for 12-13 year-olds, I think I am too arcane for most youngsters, but I find it offensive to the 14+ population at large that, according to the PG brigade, all people of thinking age, living in a family environment, may be precluded from reading my blog because... because what?

Because I don't write nice things about church? or give tips on washing your car on Sunday, or mowing lawns or going on picnics with the dog into the idyllic countryside? Or is it because I occasionally use irreligious language that I know religious men and women use from time to time, and occasionally I mention S-E-X and genocide and topics that are somehow outside the scope of families? Funny ideas some people have a) on what constitutes a family and b)what a family should be exposed to.

If I am not suitable for family viewing, then my posts are not suitable for anyone living with their kids or anyone living with their parents. How limiting. But wait, families are breaking up and morphing out of all recognition compared to the type of family unit I grew up in. Hey maybe I am suitable for families who past generations would have deemed dysfunctional, even heretic. Now we're talking, I like the sound of that sort of free open-minded spirit.

PG Parental grumpiness

And what material on The Pisstakers is unsuitable for 14 to 114 year-old family members in this day and age of Halloween, The Simpsons and video games like Doom? Is there anything here that would cause a child to go and shoot their teacher? Can't see it myself. And how you leap from the innocuous word Pisstaker to depraved material, only the censors will know.

As you can tell, I find the whole idea of "family-oriented sites" classifications to be a bit of a joke. I have seen films with a PG rating and thought they were well out of order and I wouldnt have any kid of mine watching them with my blessing.

And anyway, assuming I am not a PG site, how is labelling my site, "Not suitable for families" going to stop kids reading it? I think folks are living in cloud cuckoo land if they think that highlighting a site as out of bounds to kids, (because a grown-up they never met says so), will stop them going there. Prohibition anyone? In fact, telling the kids that The Pisstakers is for adults only, is a great way to attract kids!

Conconclusion

At the end of the day, I don't think that everyone who reads the Pisstakers necessarily "gets" everything I write anyway, (I am not the world's greatest communicator) but if any youngsters out there want to sit down with mom and dad and read about the China crisis or 6 legged horses or tech stuff, be my guest. I know that whatever I write won't be as shocking as Silence of the Lambs, the school course book given to my 15 year old cousin to study!

Another dollar, another MyBlogLog Sunday. Good to see another sunny day on the neighborhood. Don't you just love global warming. Here's hoping the polar ice caps don't melt and wash me away before I get a chance to complete the 10 mini reviews for the 10 MyBlogLog bloggers who last visited this site.

Just to remind you if you didn't know, the 10 blogs that have been digitally captured in the screenshot when I eventually get up on a Sunday morning each get a mini review later on today. They also get a juicy PR5 backlink, plus a link to their MyBlogLog community... and as it is Sunday, and we are supposed to play nice at least one day a week, I will even stumble posts from the bloggers who leave a link to their own favorite post of the week.

This is a sort of link love feature, but ironically, since last week, my Technorati ranking has fallen down the toilet. Apparently I am not alone, and Linda has even removed her technorati authority widgety thing in disgust. Down with technorati, come the revolution... yadda yadda yadda.

Contest
You have till midnight tonight to blog about any article in my super x-fruits mega RSS feed, (50 words will do), and send me a link to the post,. The most amusing or engaging one will win a $39 memory card for their troubles. Rob and Link and Learn are in the running so far. Hurry, hurry..

Permalink is permanent
Today's mini review will stay on the homepage (PR5) all week and is instantly added to the archives for a permanent PR4 back link.

MyBlogLog Sunday info links

Be back later.

I was listening to a discussion where the financial experts were saying that Yahoo! may be worth more broken up than whole. Maybe, but the mind boggles at precisely what new companies called Ya, Ho and O! could bring to the table to make the current owners even richer. Not a lot.

To be honest, I don't know much about the current component parts of Yahoo! except one division is so far behind the Google search engine, it is almost embarrassing. Yahoo! Search should be called O ho!

What else do Yahoo! have going for them?

Yahoo! and MyBlogLog

Judging by the steady triple figure flow of visitors to my Yahoo-owned MyBlogLog community, it is fair to say that Yahoo haven't killed off that idea - yet. I say "yet", because they did kill my avatar when I last logged in, and they haven't innovated much recently. Still a way to go to maximise that $10m acquisition, Ding Dongs!

MyBlogLog Sunday

Talking of innovative, and Yahoo! and MyBloglog, The Pisstakers uber weekly feature, MyBlogLog Sunday, is a few hours away, for the 28th time.

It is a simple deal for bloggers. If you are a MBL member and visit my site Saturday night / Sunday morning, your avatar will appear in my side bar. When I start blogging on Sunday morning, the 10 most recent visiting bloggers are captured in the widget screenshot and they each get a cool mini-review with a couple of back links. And those who leave a comment about their best post of the week (with a link) get an eBay-owned Stumble too. Get in on it tomorrow.

Next Yahoo! acquisition

If Yahoo! are looking to invest in a sharp, humorous and very positive blog-spinning feature, they should headhunt the brains behind MyBlogLog Sunday and make a move before they are dissembled. (Yahoo, not my brains.) Any offers over $2.2m will be considered, and rest assured, when the deal goes through, all 270 reviewees will get a prize.

Please lobby Yahoo! before they split up and disappear up their own Ah O!

Last week I had a bit of a rant about pleasing Technorati, and how I don't seem to be able to break out of the current 41000 rank, despite continually blogging and linking. It raised a bit of a hackle for Technorati high-flyer, RT at Untwisted Vortex, and he asked his fans to add fairness to the system by linking, in some way shape or form, to The (well-written) Pisstakers.

Hari came straight out and added me to his blog roll, thanks. He is a funny guy as well as a tech head, so it is all good, relevant linking. Could it be time to hang on, as I shoot up, up and away through Technorati?

Unfortunately, I think Technorati were watching and my ranking has dropped again!

Is it essential for bloggers to play the Technorati game?

According to Technorati rules, the more links to your site from other websites, the more authoritative and valuable the blog. And if the blogs linking in to you are authoritative, whoa, you are heading for gold. Maybe that applies if you are a Technorati believer and not a skeptic?

I am a skeptic. Remember, Technorati is not about traffic, but what other bloggers think of the relevancy and authority of sites. How ironic that blog value and relevancy is based on the reactions of bloggers, a mere 20% of internet users

It is a bollocks undemocratic system, not what the internet is supposed to be about. Whatever happened to democracy where the opinions of 80% of internet surfers should dictate what is and isn't worthwhile?

If Technorati want to be taken seriously, and not become a political blog Oscar / A-lister love-in / blogger backscratching / gamed award, they need to open up their parameters to embrace the whole internet user base.

Technorati teetering.

For now, I am a technorati pariah, but I will stick to my instincts and do what I think is the right way to build the value of a blog. Therefore, in the course of my writing I will continue to link to blogs that have something to add to a story, regardless of whether they are a friend, a day old, A-listers or the antithesis of the Pisstakers blog niche.

This tactic may not generate zillions of Technorati brownie points from other bloggers "focused" on their niche to the exclusion of all others, or from bloggers loathe to backlink to The Pisstakers, (yuk what a horrible name!) but that is OK.

In the long run, I predict that one day, a new world view of blog values will develop, and I don't think the current Technorati algorithm will have much of a say as to whether The Pisstakers brand is worth diddly or squat to advertisers and peers!!

And of course, until the world becomes a more egalitarian ranking place, I will still call by Technorati to see how I am faring, or not!