16 December 2007
Mice in the yard, rats in business
Filed in: Ed's blog spot
I am getting really teed off with the lack of moral fortitude in so many people in business these days. What is so hard about owning up to your mistakes? The worst for not owning up to their mistakes seem to be the "experts", those who think they are above the rest of us and should never be questioned.
We just had our car serviced. This is the second time we have had work done at the same place, and it now turns out to be the second time we have been landed with a bill $200 over what we were expecting to pay. It is also the second time the car hasn't run quite correctly afterwards.
The first time, there was a small issue with the timing, he rectified it promptly. Fine. The car ran great. We put the extra unexpected $200 down to experience.
This time, however, the mechanic proved beyond all reasonable doubt that he is a pretty good mechanic and a bare faced pathological liar. Somehow in his world, it is OK to call my wife to say that the car won't be ready on time, and it is OK to say that he needs to order a part, and it is perfectly acceptable business practice to omit the line about "This will add $200 to what I quoted you to complete the work (that I recommended) to solve the oil leak issue (that I pointed out to you). Half truths and nothing but the half-truth, so help my customers.
He pulled the same disingenuous trick with me when I went to pick the car up. He showed me the part that my wife had given him the go ahead to replace, and after swiping my card I see the invoice for the first time. It is $200 above what he quoted. Let the bullshit begin.
Suffice to say, I called him on his tactics, and I soon realised I was up against a guy who has perfected the art of half truths.
Here is a tip if you want to run a business like a dick. The strategy is to play dumb when a customer calls you on a misleading quote. If the customer persists, you speak in half truths, and when it starts to get really awkward, you look dumbly at the customer and say you did them a favor by spotting the extra work.
Mechanics hold the key till they get the money, and in our case, in a court of law, we have almost no leg to stand on, because, like idiots we accepted his verbal "gentleman's agreement" and don't make a habit of recording phone conversations. And bottom line, in a world where only money seems to count, $200, who wants the hassle? So he won that round.
The final straw came today. The weather is damp, and the engine is mis-timing. I take it straight to the garage. He points out a damaged ht lead. That's a mouse bite, he says.
I said nothing, I was so taken aback. We have 3 cats that kill anything that moves. There is no wildlife that would dare come within 100 yards of our driveway! I have been driving for 20 years and never had an issue with mice in my hood. I had the car parked up maybe 7 hours before the engine started misfiring. So I just listened to the bullshit. At the end of his excuses spiel, I had had enough. It is Christmas, places are closed. Our lead isn't getting replaced.
Clearly, you cannot discuss anything with pathological liars. Merry Christmas to all ethical upright mechanics, and a warning to a robbing grease monkey who operates just along the road from me. Like all liars, his story isn't quite good enough to outwit an ass-wipe member of the public like me who has a good memory for detail.
The mechanic is having a good Christmas, no doubt smug that he saw me off with his cleverness. On reflection, he should have bitten his tongue before blurting out, mid-BS, and I quote, This place has an issue with mice, and we have problems with cables getting chewed all the time. His ass is the next thing getting chewed, unless of course, his cousin is the editor of the consumer section of the local paper!
A mouse in your yard
We just had our car serviced. This is the second time we have had work done at the same place, and it now turns out to be the second time we have been landed with a bill $200 over what we were expecting to pay. It is also the second time the car hasn't run quite correctly afterwards.
The first time, there was a small issue with the timing, he rectified it promptly. Fine. The car ran great. We put the extra unexpected $200 down to experience.
Disingenuous genius
This time, however, the mechanic proved beyond all reasonable doubt that he is a pretty good mechanic and a bare faced pathological liar. Somehow in his world, it is OK to call my wife to say that the car won't be ready on time, and it is OK to say that he needs to order a part, and it is perfectly acceptable business practice to omit the line about "This will add $200 to what I quoted you to complete the work (that I recommended) to solve the oil leak issue (that I pointed out to you). Half truths and nothing but the half-truth, so help my customers.
He pulled the same disingenuous trick with me when I went to pick the car up. He showed me the part that my wife had given him the go ahead to replace, and after swiping my card I see the invoice for the first time. It is $200 above what he quoted. Let the bullshit begin.
Ed's pissed
Suffice to say, I called him on his tactics, and I soon realised I was up against a guy who has perfected the art of half truths.
Here is a tip if you want to run a business like a dick. The strategy is to play dumb when a customer calls you on a misleading quote. If the customer persists, you speak in half truths, and when it starts to get really awkward, you look dumbly at the customer and say you did them a favor by spotting the extra work.
Mechanics hold the key till they get the money, and in our case, in a court of law, we have almost no leg to stand on, because, like idiots we accepted his verbal "gentleman's agreement" and don't make a habit of recording phone conversations. And bottom line, in a world where only money seems to count, $200, who wants the hassle? So he won that round.
It may be a Pyrrhic victory!
The final straw came today. The weather is damp, and the engine is mis-timing. I take it straight to the garage. He points out a damaged ht lead. That's a mouse bite, he says.
I said nothing, I was so taken aback. We have 3 cats that kill anything that moves. There is no wildlife that would dare come within 100 yards of our driveway! I have been driving for 20 years and never had an issue with mice in my hood. I had the car parked up maybe 7 hours before the engine started misfiring. So I just listened to the bullshit. At the end of his excuses spiel, I had had enough. It is Christmas, places are closed. Our lead isn't getting replaced.
Clearly, you cannot discuss anything with pathological liars. Merry Christmas to all ethical upright mechanics, and a warning to a robbing grease monkey who operates just along the road from me. Like all liars, his story isn't quite good enough to outwit an ass-wipe member of the public like me who has a good memory for detail.
The mechanic is having a good Christmas, no doubt smug that he saw me off with his cleverness. On reflection, he should have bitten his tongue before blurting out, mid-BS, and I quote, This place has an issue with mice, and we have problems with cables getting chewed all the time. His ass is the next thing getting chewed, unless of course, his cousin is the editor of the consumer section of the local paper!
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Paying bills
Filed in: Ed's blog spot
After a heated conversation with our local car mechanic who has just gouged an extra $200 out of us, (happy bloody holiday to you too) I am reminded of a couple of characters who, faced with unfair bills, took their anger out in a couple of creative ways.
In the UK, in 1990, there was a near revolution when Community Tax or Poll tax was introduced. Almost overnight, local taxes (or rates as they were called) doubled, tripled, quadrupled under a new "fairer" system based around the number of contributing adults in your home. This was at a time of recession, so not every adult was working, a simple fact that escaped Margaret Thatcher and her gougers.
I recall a guy who submitted a very creative Poll tax check to the government! Apparently, a check doesn't have to be made of paper, and as long as you have all the basic info written down, any medium is legal tender. He sent his payment written on a dead fish.
When Poll tax rioting got out of hand, they removed it from the public consciousness and replaced it with Council Tax. Same shit different day.
A bit of background. Having worked out that not every adult could work, the Government decided that if you owned a home, you were probably working. If you were working you could afford to pay a tax that your unemployed spouse or over-16 year-old kids living with you, couldn't.
To add insult to injury, this was in an era when the economy was jittery and the government were going for broke, promoting ownership of homes you couldn't afford. Mortgages up to your eyeballs and dole queues were all the mode, and millions of good citizens were house rich cash poor with unemployment hanging over their head too. It was yet another flawed tax. Bottom line, Britons needed a tax based on a house they couldn't afford like a hole in the head.
To make matters worse, the value of your property was judged by the local council, not by the market. Some jerk would drive around and appraise homes from the car. And it wasn't even a house by house appraisal. You were taxed in neighborhood bands, living proof that the average applies to nobody.
A friend of mine lived out in the country. He had a small cottage, no streetlighting, almost no road, and a once weekly refuse collection that usually left more trash on the kerb than in the back of the truck. He was livid at his Council tax bill, in the upper band. The council said he lived in a nice area where houses were expensive, streetlights were abundant and the trash was a delight to behold, ergo he had to be included with those upper band payers. They ignored every letter he ever sent, every complaint...
Imagine the look of horror when he turned up at the Council Offices with the press and a sack of coins that he could barely drag in alone. It took them hours to count it out, and in this case, all those pennies were legal tender. Love it.
Unfortunately he has been a marked man ever since. Simple procedures like applying for planning permission, to upgrade his simple home to look more in-line with the other high tax band properties all around him, end in disputes and delays.
Merry Christmas to all. And if the local mechanic finds superglue in his door locks on Christmas night, it will be nothing to do with me. I'm the disgruntled customer due to send my payment wrapped in reindeer dung.
Fishy payments
In the UK, in 1990, there was a near revolution when Community Tax or Poll tax was introduced. Almost overnight, local taxes (or rates as they were called) doubled, tripled, quadrupled under a new "fairer" system based around the number of contributing adults in your home. This was at a time of recession, so not every adult was working, a simple fact that escaped Margaret Thatcher and her gougers.
I recall a guy who submitted a very creative Poll tax check to the government! Apparently, a check doesn't have to be made of paper, and as long as you have all the basic info written down, any medium is legal tender. He sent his payment written on a dead fish.
Paid in pennies.
When Poll tax rioting got out of hand, they removed it from the public consciousness and replaced it with Council Tax. Same shit different day.
A bit of background. Having worked out that not every adult could work, the Government decided that if you owned a home, you were probably working. If you were working you could afford to pay a tax that your unemployed spouse or over-16 year-old kids living with you, couldn't.
To add insult to injury, this was in an era when the economy was jittery and the government were going for broke, promoting ownership of homes you couldn't afford. Mortgages up to your eyeballs and dole queues were all the mode, and millions of good citizens were house rich cash poor with unemployment hanging over their head too. It was yet another flawed tax. Bottom line, Britons needed a tax based on a house they couldn't afford like a hole in the head.
To make matters worse, the value of your property was judged by the local council, not by the market. Some jerk would drive around and appraise homes from the car. And it wasn't even a house by house appraisal. You were taxed in neighborhood bands, living proof that the average applies to nobody.
A friend of mine lived out in the country. He had a small cottage, no streetlighting, almost no road, and a once weekly refuse collection that usually left more trash on the kerb than in the back of the truck. He was livid at his Council tax bill, in the upper band. The council said he lived in a nice area where houses were expensive, streetlights were abundant and the trash was a delight to behold, ergo he had to be included with those upper band payers. They ignored every letter he ever sent, every complaint...
Imagine the look of horror when he turned up at the Council Offices with the press and a sack of coins that he could barely drag in alone. It took them hours to count it out, and in this case, all those pennies were legal tender. Love it.
Unfortunately he has been a marked man ever since. Simple procedures like applying for planning permission, to upgrade his simple home to look more in-line with the other high tax band properties all around him, end in disputes and delays.
Merry Christmas to all. And if the local mechanic finds superglue in his door locks on Christmas night, it will be nothing to do with me. I'm the disgruntled customer due to send my payment wrapped in reindeer dung.
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Not so busy shopping days
Filed in: Ed's blog spot
So what is it, folks? What is the busiest Christmas shopping day of the year? Here on the 19th of December we still haven't started, so our answer is no day. We are so far behind the curve, it is embarrassing. But I can trace the cause of this surreal scrooge-like behavior back to real world stats.
Therefore, while other blogs now tackle this week's busy shipping times for Fed-Ex and UPS, plus shopping mad Green Monday at eBay and Amazon, I am re-winding. I am blogging about a shopping day in November - with no embarrassment whatsoever.
If you listen to the retailers lurking desperately in malls, Black Friday is the big shopping kahuna.
For what it's worth, the analysts say that if you go shopping at a store on Black Friday, you are 70% likely to return to buy some more products before Xmas. If you stay in bed and sleep through the crass commercialism, you are 40% likely not to shop at all.
The analysts are right. We didn't shop and as you can see, the retailers are suffering nationwide.
Do we care that we missed out on Black Friday? If you are a warm human being who wishes a good Christmas to all, even to the sort of people who exploit us all year, I suggest that it does matter!
We did not make the effort to walk through shop doors on Black Friday, and as a result, our favorite people, fat cat CEO's, have since spent the run-up to Christmas staring at spreadsheets in a nervy, prescription drug-induced stupor. We apologise. It is not something we would usually wish on our worse enemy, but oh well!!
Sorry retailers, we didn't get our act together and Black Friday has deteriorated into Black December. So much influence, Staggering.
Yes indeedy, the day after Thanksgiving should have been a good time for us. We could have broken records for overnight queues and extended limitless and pointless goodwill towards fellow freezing human beings - and tripped them up as they headed for the same bargains on our wish list.
Maybe there is time to rectify the shortcomings, and buy some second hand stuff on eBay this Friday, ie on Black Friday 2. Does that count towards the bottom line?
And could we spin Black Friday a different way? It is a healthy day when many people actually run for the first and last time of the year, thundering down aisles, hearts racing, cholesterol evaporating. Post images of Black Friday shopping athletes elbowing competitors, looking for that one bargain basement Wii or mink coat. Bless!
Where are you in the Xmas shopping cycle? Is there hope to get the retailer CEOs off of drugs before year end figures implode? Let us know.
Therefore, while other blogs now tackle this week's busy shipping times for Fed-Ex and UPS, plus shopping mad Green Monday at eBay and Amazon, I am re-winding. I am blogging about a shopping day in November - with no embarrassment whatsoever.
Brick and mortar mall bull
If you listen to the retailers lurking desperately in malls, Black Friday is the big shopping kahuna.
For what it's worth, the analysts say that if you go shopping at a store on Black Friday, you are 70% likely to return to buy some more products before Xmas. If you stay in bed and sleep through the crass commercialism, you are 40% likely not to shop at all.
The analysts are right. We didn't shop and as you can see, the retailers are suffering nationwide.
Shop and save the CEO.
Do we care that we missed out on Black Friday? If you are a warm human being who wishes a good Christmas to all, even to the sort of people who exploit us all year, I suggest that it does matter!
We did not make the effort to walk through shop doors on Black Friday, and as a result, our favorite people, fat cat CEO's, have since spent the run-up to Christmas staring at spreadsheets in a nervy, prescription drug-induced stupor. We apologise. It is not something we would usually wish on our worse enemy, but oh well!!
Sorry retailers, we didn't get our act together and Black Friday has deteriorated into Black December. So much influence, Staggering.
A better attitude towards Xmas shopping
Yes indeedy, the day after Thanksgiving should have been a good time for us. We could have broken records for overnight queues and extended limitless and pointless goodwill towards fellow freezing human beings - and tripped them up as they headed for the same bargains on our wish list.
Re-thinking Black Friday
Maybe there is time to rectify the shortcomings, and buy some second hand stuff on eBay this Friday, ie on Black Friday 2. Does that count towards the bottom line?
And could we spin Black Friday a different way? It is a healthy day when many people actually run for the first and last time of the year, thundering down aisles, hearts racing, cholesterol evaporating. Post images of Black Friday shopping athletes elbowing competitors, looking for that one bargain basement Wii or mink coat. Bless!
Where are you in the Xmas shopping cycle? Is there hope to get the retailer CEOs off of drugs before year end figures implode? Let us know.
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Christmas fancy dress tale
Filed in: Ed's blog spot
I used to work in construction, and back in the day we had apprentices. (If that term is alien to you, apprentices were the youngsters who bore the brunt of tradesmen's humor, and did all the dirty jobs too. It was a hard life, but it didnt do them any harm, at least no visible harm!)
One Christmas, our boss decided to treat everyone to an all-expenses paid night out at a local bar. The official word was that it was to be a fancy dress do - we were all going to dress up as women. All the tradesmen were talking about borrowing clothes from wives and girlfriends and we were going to have a riot putting on make-up and tottering around in heels, yadda yadda.
Unofficially, we weren't going in fancy dress at all.
We all turned up at the bar early in smart casuals, had a few drinks and waited for the apprentice. Sure enough, he strode into the bar decked out in his mum's dress and bright red lipstick. Needless to say, the whole bar erupted, we died laughing and...
...he was one of the best sports ever and stayed in drag the whole night, the center of attention.
Although he was practically swimming in bacardi and was so physiologically damaged by alcohol that he couldn't remember a thing, he swears to this day that he had the best time. Knowing who and what he grew up into, he probably did have a blast. I just know I would have died in his shoes.
Merry Christmas.
One Christmas, our boss decided to treat everyone to an all-expenses paid night out at a local bar. The official word was that it was to be a fancy dress do - we were all going to dress up as women. All the tradesmen were talking about borrowing clothes from wives and girlfriends and we were going to have a riot putting on make-up and tottering around in heels, yadda yadda.
Unofficially, we weren't going in fancy dress at all.
We all turned up at the bar early in smart casuals, had a few drinks and waited for the apprentice. Sure enough, he strode into the bar decked out in his mum's dress and bright red lipstick. Needless to say, the whole bar erupted, we died laughing and...
...he was one of the best sports ever and stayed in drag the whole night, the center of attention.
Although he was practically swimming in bacardi and was so physiologically damaged by alcohol that he couldn't remember a thing, he swears to this day that he had the best time. Knowing who and what he grew up into, he probably did have a blast. I just know I would have died in his shoes.
Merry Christmas.
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Artmunkey, Damien Hirst - the true story
Filed in: Ed's blog spot

Just so we aren't caught floundering behind the curve in the fast changing world of blogging looks, here is the latest artistic rendition of the logo from Are We there yet?
Having followed the artwork coming from the blog in recent months, I think it is fair to say that the in-house artist, Artmunkey, has a personal and consistent style, which, if she wants to go professional, bodes well for the future. And at the tender age of 15, time is definitely on her side. (Can we buy shares?)
As a fan of Vincent van Gogh, I also feel it is my duty to remind Artmunkey Amanda to keep her ears out of the way of stray knives.
Original, in a production line kind of way
As a former struggling artist, I think developing a distinctive style is the big challenge. Almost anyone can rattle off a one-off piece of inspiration, but if you want to be commercially viable, people like to know what theme or mark they are getting.
That nutter Damien Hirst, the guy who stuck a sheep in formaldehyde and got world-wide acclaim, remember him? Well, he had a distinctive style in painting too. Spots. Sorry to disappoint anyone, but I knew someone who claimed to be one of a team of artists who used to paint his spot paintings for him, before he signed them off as his own! When you hit the big time, I guess you can afford such indulgences.
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MyBlogLog Sunday 37
Steve has steadily built up an impressive directory of software titles at 1 Cool File. Also check out his advice on Alert Pay which has netted him business that PayPal (c,w,sh) ouldn't handle.
Claire finds the funny side in her mother's health scares. I should introduce her to my father, he will be most annoyed to learn of someone with a tongue problem, one of the few he has never endured.
Some of Diane's work looks tasty enough to eat, and when I read that one of her calligraphy books had Japanese Chiyogami on the outside, I thought maybe it was literally coated in sushi. Wrong again.
Debbie reveals the dark side of Macau. A lighthouse is soon to be caught in the shadow of a concrete jungle monstrosity. Who will save the day? Don't count on anyone connected with the UN!
Mike has written hundreds of great posts on making money online. So good that some cad and bounder is copying his work wholesale. My advice? For once in your life, write some crap, man.
Linda is a big hit with the Stumble brigade, clocking over 1000 visits. If Stumbling is better than Digging, then logically, Falling is even better? So, make Linda happy & Wipe Out the Norwich free concert.
Someone is getting broody over at Lucys Dilemma blog!! Sounds like it is time for a barefoot walk in the snow to cool down.
Welcome to America, young Liam Matthew, the new third dolphin in the team. Let's hope the flight from Russia wasn't as nail biting as the flight out, to pick you up.
Since Larry's last appearance, Canada has been re-mapped. Calm down, it is nothing to do with the marauding colonists of old, just high cartographic jinks from the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Hmmmm.
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MyBlogLog Sunday week 37
Filed in: MBL sunday

Woo hoo. Suffice to say, I am back and I am looking forward to another week of MyBlogLog Sunday and another year of pisstakery.
As per the "rules", the 10 bloggers in the screenshot will get a mini review, my finest PR4 backlink, plus a link to your MyBlogLog community... and to keep the ball rolling, This week I will stumble any posts from any bloggers (featured or not) who leave a link to their own favorite post of the week.
Sob story
For those that are interested, I put up with 2 weeks of mania stemming from internet woes and wireless issues. Even after buying the latest greatest AT&T internet anywhere package, there was still no solution to demented publishing times, and my dedication to blogging was beaten to a pulp by hours and hours of split second timing just to get onto the internet.
Sad to say I discovered the limit to my patience, and as we all know, an unhappy pisstaker is a bad boring pisstaker, so I stepped back into the real world of fresh air and TV to refresh my batteries and await yet another wireless card.
I can now categorically state that Netgear wireless cards work great with Netgear routers, and our 24/7 uninterrupted 11mb/sec Comcast broadband service fluctuates regularly between 1, 5 and 11MB/sec depending on... fill in the gaps because I sure as hell have no idea, and I really dont want to waste one more millisecond of my life dealing with those wankers.
So, big smile, forget the crud weather outside, let the MyBlogLog Sunday week 37 party re-begin.
Comment kings and queens
It is a sad state of affairs when commenters put more effort into a blog than a blogger himself, but thanks to Linda, Debbie, Mike and Lord Likely for their sagacious rapacious audacious words. I will submit you all to the Untwisted Vortex Kings and Queens of Comments feature and see what happens!
MyBlogLog Sunday info links
All hot mini reviews on MyBloglog Sunday!
Internet buzz on MyBloglog Sunday!
How to participate in MyBloglog Sunday!
Weekly round-up of MyBloglog Sunday!
Internet buzz on MyBloglog Sunday!
How to participate in MyBloglog Sunday!
Weekly round-up of MyBloglog Sunday!
Be back later.
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