We went mad and agreed to go out for a drink with a couple of friends. The conversation was fun and interesting and grown up. I choose the word "grown-up" carefully, because the intellectual level plummeted when we were joined by a mutual acquaintance and his wife.

The wife seemed very bubbly and good fun, but after about 5 minutes, Mrs Ed and I are looking at each other thinking wtf, what an airhead. She seemed to be 45 going on 13.

Someone said, "Hey look at the sunset, it is really pink and spectacular." Airhead lady clapped her hands and squealed, "Oooh, awesome, look, it's all pink."

Erm, OK! Mrs Ed and I are looking into space trying not to get eye contact with each other, so as not to burst out laughing at the ludicrous enthusiasm.

Someone said they really enjoyed this time of year with the longer days. Everyone understood that she was referring to the feelgood factor of light mornings and getting dark much later. Of course, airhead lady got the wrong end of the stick and asked all enthusiastic, "So what time did you get up this morning?"

Uh? It was like one of those awkward moments when a foreigner doesn't quite understand the question. For instance "Where did you go on holiday?" And they reply, "Yes". You normally try to move the conversation forward and say something so as not to make them feel stupid. In this case, I was thinking, "I can't be bothered explaining. She's stupid!!"

And finally, someone was explaining how fascinating, (but simple) their job was. They conducted surveys of marine life on remote islands. It sounded glamorous, but all they had to do was sail for several days and then spend weeks at a time counting seabirds and sticking tags on seals' ears. Everyone except airhead understood that she was implying that her job was not exactly rocket science, but great work, if you could get it.

Never one to miss an opportunity to advance the conversation with a valid or original thought, Airhead said "Oooh, that's so great, I do admire you, I could never do that sort of job."

At last, some valid chit chat? Wrong!

"Why couldn't you do that?" asked the marine surveyor, obviously bemused that counting birds was beyond anyone with more than half a brain.

"Ooooh, all that attention to detail "

For fucks sake, where did this ditzy woman come from? Is it time for her to go back?

On our way home, Mrs Ed explained that she was a typical valley girl, a concept I had heard of, but never experienced first hand. She said that they are famed for having no original thought in their head, but they do have this incredible ability to perm the concept of "awesome" a thousand different ways. No kidding.