Apparently, as China's affluence increases, so the flood of Chinese tourists to Britain grows. As with all new trends, there are growing pains, and it seems the visitors from the world's most populous country are making a bad name for themselves. They are deemed loud, rude and obnoxious travellers, by hoteliers. So the Chinese Government is stepping in to stop the rot.

Ever alert for an opportunity to exert control over their own, and build up a good name for their country at the same time, China's leaders are issuing tips to travellers: on how to behave in Britain.

Talk to the dog!

The advice for China guys and their travelling dolls: remember to address the dog when asking for directions to the latest greatest UK tourist attractions.

It makes sense too! If you ever go out for a stroll in the park or along the street, it is interesting to observe how Brits behave when they encounter a friend or acquaintance out walking their dog. They will both invariably lower their gaze towards the dog and then start the conversation.

"Hello, Fred, lovely day for walking the dog, isn't it!"

"Yes, Daphne, a lovely day. And how is your husband, er ..."

Stroking the dog's head, "Oh, him, the same as usual."

Crouching down, rubbing dog's ears, "Oh that's good," he replies. "Good bye."

"Good bye."

Then without even making eye contact, the two move off in different directions, feeling all the better for having broken down some of their British reserve. See, it makes sense to conduct any conversation via a dog!

Don't ask where your fellow diner is going!

It is typically British to eat a hearty lunch of eggs, baked beans and chips, and before the last mouthful, feel an urge to go to the bathroom. Rather than just say, "I'm off for a pee." they will carefully put down their cutlery, catch the attention of the host, mouth their need to go to the loo and silently glide towards the door.

So, the advice for China guys and their travelling dolls wishing to observe correct table etiquette: play fair, and please don't ask people who leave the table before the end of the meal where they are going!

Ever met a real Chinese tourist? What were they like?

Have you seen our humungous list of questions on the aptly named Good Questions page