The rental company are called Rent a wreck. Apparently the van is yours for no money down, zero engine, unlimited mileage, no fuel costs and nothing to pay on termination of the contract.

We are trained by Mother Marketing to be dubious of snappy self-deprecating names for companies. Bodgit and Leggit, are one such business that springs to mind. At first glance you assume they will do a rough job, cut corners and then run like hell when they get their money. However, the double glazing people rightly get a lot of repeat business, because they are good.

By and large, though, most names are inaccurate when you analyse them. After experiencing endless examples of dubious behavior at a certain chain of hardware stores, I refer to them as Screw It and Go. The removal firm we had should be called Hump and Dump, after all the skid marks they left on the walls and the local baker has no right to call himself Master, unless he changes his k to a t.

Got any good name changes?