After waking up on the sofa with the TV blaring out info-mercials, I sat through a passionate paid advert for The World's Greatest Treasury of Health Secrets. Listening to the wide-eyed presenter, I thought Mankind's greatest unsung heroic researchers had found the secrets to a perpetual and happy, pain-free life. Right! Amazon reader reviews paint a less glowing perspective on the book.

I am very disapointed by this book. I bought it because the advertisement guaranteed a secret way to lower high blood pressure in two weeks. Surprise, the book said to exercise, eat better and go to the doctor for medication if it is more than a little bit high. No secrets in this book, just what you have already heard on television and from every other source. (Amazon)

Oh well, time to party.

Is presenter Hugh Downs really 85?

So he has his own hair and teeth and mind, but, if the truth be told, he looks a healthy centurion,.

Snake oil cures

If you are interested, The Pisstakers Snake Oil is worth a look. It won't cure diddly or reverse aging, but it will make you smell of snake.

Impotence is cured

When the wheels fall off a limp man's sex life, they claim to have a pill to get impotent guys stiff in 10 minutes. Quite an improvement on the standard hour promised by normal pills. But how about the penile jump start we pioneered? Ladies, unscrew a light bulb and place your man's tackle in the empty socket. Flip the switch. 9 times out of ten the shock is too much and they drop dead. You just got royally screwed.

Here is the health treasury of the century.