The Zombie meltdown effect at B&N
Nov06 Filed in: Literature
Barnes and Noble have some neat stores and millions of books. Wandering around the Philly store I was freaked out though. Everywhere I looked, my eyes seemed to focus on books about zombies and death.
I guess I had been subliminally pre-primed the night before by a website I had found via another website via another.... the usual surf city deal. Click on this button and green zombies appeared, click on that button and they munched your jugular, blah blah. I didn't really like it to be honest, which is wierd seeing as I had laughed my way through Dawn of the Dead as a teenager. Recently I had even ripped a neat chunk out of my arm and not batted an eyelid whilst A.N.Other had cringed at the layers of epidermal damage. But that is the wonder of books, innit, to prompt the imagination.
After cruising the first couple of aisles without a care in the world, I suddenly shuddered. I had just homed in on a silver cover: The Zombie Survival kit. Ouch. Even if it was easy, I didn't want to think about the fundamentals to surviving in a shopping mall full of indestructible grunge lookalike dead beats. I was there to browse a store full of happiness and other-worldliness, and find true contentment in a 3-D pop-up book on celebrity goofs. I kept on walking.
Around the next turn, there was a rack of books, 10 foot high. (The rack was 10 foot high, not the books, stupid!) Of all the books in all the world, what do my myopic eyes pick out? Something to do with Death. This couldn't be happening, a wierd coincidence. Within 30 seconds, I had racked up another morbid title, about medical cock-ups, another about Living with death. Arrrrrrgh. The wheels fell off when I seemed to be craning my neck at all angles, to avoid any hints of the after-life, when I homed in on "ELVIS". Shit, get me out of here.
Fortunately, this all went on in my head. Blissfully unaware of the demented inner torture, my sane wife managed to find the funniest most creative book we have seen for a long time. Pop Up Celebrity Meltdown (Pop Up)
features Hugh Grant being blown in a cab, One Night in Paris, OJ on the run, Tom Cruise leaping off Oprah's sofa.....all in glorious 3-D cardboard, ONLY $30 for a zombie-free time, folks.
On-line pre-prime
I guess I had been subliminally pre-primed the night before by a website I had found via another website via another.... the usual surf city deal. Click on this button and green zombies appeared, click on that button and they munched your jugular, blah blah. I didn't really like it to be honest, which is wierd seeing as I had laughed my way through Dawn of the Dead as a teenager. Recently I had even ripped a neat chunk out of my arm and not batted an eyelid whilst A.N.Other had cringed at the layers of epidermal damage. But that is the wonder of books, innit, to prompt the imagination.
Tour of Death begins
After cruising the first couple of aisles without a care in the world, I suddenly shuddered. I had just homed in on a silver cover: The Zombie Survival kit. Ouch. Even if it was easy, I didn't want to think about the fundamentals to surviving in a shopping mall full of indestructible grunge lookalike dead beats. I was there to browse a store full of happiness and other-worldliness, and find true contentment in a 3-D pop-up book on celebrity goofs. I kept on walking.
Elvis is in the building!
Around the next turn, there was a rack of books, 10 foot high. (The rack was 10 foot high, not the books, stupid!) Of all the books in all the world, what do my myopic eyes pick out? Something to do with Death. This couldn't be happening, a wierd coincidence. Within 30 seconds, I had racked up another morbid title, about medical cock-ups, another about Living with death. Arrrrrrgh. The wheels fell off when I seemed to be craning my neck at all angles, to avoid any hints of the after-life, when I homed in on "ELVIS". Shit, get me out of here.
Celebrity Meltdowns to the rescue
Fortunately, this all went on in my head. Blissfully unaware of the demented inner torture, my sane wife managed to find the funniest most creative book we have seen for a long time. Pop Up Celebrity Meltdown (Pop Up)
features Hugh Grant being blown in a cab, One Night in Paris, OJ on the run, Tom Cruise leaping off Oprah's sofa.....all in glorious 3-D cardboard, ONLY $30 for a zombie-free time, folks..
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