Marilyn Monroe was an icon of the silver screen, but I think she looks better in the pool.

She is not exactly accessible to the public in the year 2007, but this lucky street artist gets to dip his toe in Marilyn's pool. Or does he? Is it really the artist in the picture, or did he paint himself on the sidewalk?

Marilyn Monroe joke

Marilyn is at the gates of heaven and she is being asked by St Peter who she would like to be if she had a second chance at life.

"I want to be Alice Kapipelean."

"Excuse me?!?" asks St. Peter.

"I want to be Alice Kapipelean!" she exclaims.

St. Peter replies, "Pardon me, we have no record of any Alice Kapipelean being on earth."

"There is TOO an Alice Kapipelean and I have proof right HERE!!!" shouts Marilyn.

St. Peter takes the news article and reads it. "Oh my. You have misread this article. It says that the Alaska Pipeline was laid by 500 men in six months."

(Adapted)

Marilyn was once quoted as saying "I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one." (That is one to add to our list of Funny Quotes!)

Scanning through a site called eonline, I came across a graphic that would serve well as a recent visitor widget in the tradition of MyBlogLog and Blogcatalog and Wavumi and Bumpzee!.

There is only one flaw in the usefulness of a widget that displays the last 5 celebs to visit your blog - so few celebs visit most sites. Let's face it, if you knew you were going to be trashed, would you willingly read all about it on Ed's blog? Or am I showing my ignorance and will never be a celeb myself because I don't have the right self-serving mindset that seeks every mention of my name, from MSN to My Inconsequential Celeb Blog?

I was thinking of ways to market the elitist widget to average Joe bloggers like myself, and came up with an angle. In the era of white space and minimalism, the celebrity graphic is the ultimate empty space, rather like what is found in many celebs' heads. Does it have potential?

Angelina Jolie, the all-action beauty of the silver screen and darling of adoption agencies world-wide, has just signed up a new body double. Weighing in at 75lbs, her new stunt double, Lady Skeletar, is hoping and praying that Angelina lays off the lettuce and soup long enough for her to get at least a couple of movies under her bony belt.



Jackie Chan is famous for doing his own stunts. Judging by the take-outs and behind-the-scenes clips of him falling and mis-timing moves and cracking bones (all with a smile on his face) I certainly wouldn't want to be the person charged with being his body double for a stunt he won't do.



Tom Cruise, the 500 million dollar man hasn't used a body double as often as he could, but with 19 new movies to shoot, that bravado will surely all change. As we speak, stunt doubles are competing for the lucrative honor of taking Cruise's bumps and knocks, flexing their necks to make their shoulders droop. May the shortest man win the contract.

After watching Space Cowboys, it is easy to spot which of the four superstars used to do all their own stunts. Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones and Donald Sutherland all looked so supple and alive compared to the hobbling physical mess that was James Garner. Looking like he was on death's door half the time, he could have done with a leg up from his old Jim Rockford buddy, Angel. And any more stunts that involve more than three steps in a straight line, he will probably be next seen heading off with the angels.

Paris Hilton clutches her cellulite free dog, and the paparazzi snap her every sullen move. Her bodyguards can't make the press disappear, and unfortunately, the dog can't make his mistress' cellulite disappear either. So much for the beautiful people who have everything.

I remember celebrity actor, Dustin Hoffman, being asked who the most beautiful women in Hollywood were. He stood up and pointed to the audience and said something along the lines of, "The women like you, you and you, and any number of "ordinary" women who you see at the mall and in the park!" He may have been playing the crowd a little bit, but you got the idea. Even Doctor Phil, who has been ogling women for 35 years now, said the best models aren't all that great without make-up.

And when you look through a magazine, it doesn't take long to realise just how ordinary, and even freaky, some celebrity women are in the flesh. Cellulite anyone? Even skinny millionaire maidens like Paris Hilton and Kirsten Dunst and youngster Mischa Burton have a few issues in the rump and thigh department, so let's not get too smitten on the dream, guys.

Remember, if sex-mad Dustin Marathon Man Meets the Parents2 Hoffman says the girl next door is prettier than the girl the public seem to adore, us ordinary guys should take note.

And when you look at the flabuless website, you can see how ordinary women learn to live with a less than perfect body and keep a sense of humor. While she gives in to temptation and gets over it already, Paris remains sullen and keeps clutching to that skinny perfectly formed dog. I wonder who has got it right?