It is times like this when you want to curl up in someone's suitcase and disappear into the horizon.

An annual prairie dog hunt took place in Wyoming on June 9th and obviously enviro-ecology types were up in arms.

I think concerns for the dogs' welfare was a little over-blown, however, seeing that some of the hunters were from New Zealand and they were probably so jet-lagged they couldn't hit a barn door from 3 paces, let alone blow away a wily varmint.

Other fears concerned the impact on the environment whenever there is a sudden drop in the numbers of a particular species. These concerns were somewhat unfounded too. Prairie Dogs are protected in many areas, so surely it is easy to round up any surplus from those reserves and replenish the decimated colonies in time for next year's hunt?

And finally:

this year's event will also include a canned food drive and a chili supper. He said donations from the drive and supper will go to benefit the National Rifle Association's Hunters for the Hungry Program.

There are plenty enough hungry people around, what is it with the NRA's need to hunt prairie dogs too?

Out and about we get to see (and in this instance capture on film) some wtf moments. Can you imagine our reaction when we read the sign on the back of this truck. "Please do not push."?

I don't know where to begin with the stupidity of this warning. Look at the size of the truck for one. Even empty, it must weigh over 10 tons.

World's Strongest man

This may be a lawyer's attempt to thwart a repeat of that well-known incident when a competitor in training for The World's Strongest Man pushed a parked-up dumper truck home so he had something to practice on. He never won anything, however, because the event is a truck pull - which requires a completely different set of muscles to pushing.

A new breed of pusher

Can't be too careful these days, either as the new generation of drug dealers are prowling the streets looking for a more respectable way to earn an illegal living. Now you hear whispers between shady characters on street corners,

"What you pushing these days, man?"

"See that truck parked up over there, it's hot shit, pure US product. It's worth a fortune, but I like you man, you can try it out for nothing, no strings attached!"

And finally...

Or perhaps, more sensibly, the funny sign is a helpful advisory on the part of the driver, wishing to remind short-sighted shoppers that his 10 ton vehicle is not a shopping cart. Do not push - truck!

What is the most stupid sign you ever saw?

If this was my mother out shopping, I would be very afraid for her. The character sitting at the lights was wider than she was tall, and when hunched over her glorified sit down scooter she couldn't have been more than a yard high. That isn't much of a target for hit and run drivers.

We screeched around the carpark like idiots to get a better shot of her, and had a few nasty stares from a big tough pick-up driver who thought we were chasing HIM. Whatever.

The pick-up driver in the picture must have been rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing straight. And once the guy behind her computed that it was not a joke, for once there was no macho bullshit revving in readiness to overtake her. and he gave her so much space, it was ridiculous. We watched as the cars in line just sat and idled and when the lights turned red, off she went, accelerating away slower than she could hobble, leading a 2mph procession across the intersection.

Is it legal? Well, it is certainly dangerous, but I think, just like a cyclist, she has certain rights, and sure, she can potter down the street if she wants and if an impatient driver takes her out, she can retire gracefully on the pay-out.

Oh, I have been reminded, she is retired already. That's why she is riding in a $400 vehicle that doesn't guzzle gas and her shopping consists of Past their sell by date food at 50% off. Right. OK, Maybe she should don her body armor and helmet and try for an accident. Just to be doubly sure of a pay-out, I suggest she flies a big banner behind her saying "Only hit Me if You Are Insured" .

I translated "hasta la vista baby" in Babel... it gave me "bebé de Vista del la del hasta"

Thank you Babel... I'll make sure not to use it on my travels!

Courtesy of Mrs Ed, translator and multi-linguist supreme, who was preparing for her Spanish vacation....and brushing up on a few catch phrases. It goes on.

¿cuál está encima de tipo? was the suggestion Babel gave her when she typed "Whats up dude?"

Babel's answer literally means What is there on top of guy?

Another dude?

I daren't ask.

Got any other weird translations. Leave them in the comments.

I already mentioned how I got over the inadequacies of a microwave that could melt a ceramic bowl before heating the chilled soup inside it. Sadly, appliances bit back big time again as we tried to use the self-clean function on the oven.

Face masks, gas masks and ear defenders anyone? - and that was just for the neighbors. Inside we were asphyxiated and almost past help as fumes and smoke and alarms went nuts for 4 hours. I exaggerate, of course. We taped up the smoke alarms after 20 minutes, opened all windows and ran for the hills, returning 4 hours later.

And it didn't even clean everything off the oven walls! Bastards.

Macerator madness

I got an earful from Mrs Ed a while back for feeding chicken bones to the waste disposal machine. I admit I was wrong, and should have remembered that the blades to the entry level macerator even struggled to mash up tea leaves. How stupid of me to think the appliances in a $400k home would be fit for purpose. Luckily I got away with the oversight - and lived to fight another day.

There was no time to sit by a pool provided for the homeowners in the complex we just left. Just as well, as the association are so paranoid about being sued they are making it as hard as possible to even sit by the water-filled death pit.

I was smelling the cow manure as it was explained to me that if a 2-year old kid vaulted the perimeter fencing of the complex, found its way to the pool area, broke through that fence and then drowned itself, all hell would break loose, legally. No shit.

Apparently it isn't good enough to have private property and enjoy your own pool. You have to have superbaby-proof private property and parental supervision facilities for all children in your city. I wish I was a lawyer dealing with a law suit from a negligent parent suing an association for having a fenced-in pool inside their own grounds. It would be with great pleasure that I counter-sued their ass for frivolous action and a waste of tax payers' money.

The builder in charge of the complex didn't see those remarks as funny, but then again, he is so overwhelmed with money from house sales, he doesn't know up from down right now.

This photo of a drunk from Norman Roberts reminded me of a great Christmas story.

Imagine an alcoholics greatest fantasy - to be locked in a drinks store over Christmas. It happened in a UK store many years ago. Somehow a homeless guy evaded security and was able to spend from Christmas Eve night to 27th December am with free rein in the shop. It was too much temptation for him, though, and instead of spreading his debauchery over a long period of time, he went straight for a bottle of scotch and drunk it straight back.

Apart from a couple of cans of beer and assorted chocolates, that was all he managed to "steal" before the shop owners, still full of Christmas spirit, found him sleeping off his hangover. After totting up the value of his robbery, all of £30, they let him go. Perhaps if he had had a taste for vintage champagne or cognac, the repercussions may have been more severe, but for once, living cheap had its advantages.