Mrs Ed's 6-legged stallion has been a bit too frisky for his own good these past few years, so he is going for the short sharp snip tomorrow. To cheer him up and show him that it could be worse, I devised this advert.



Stunning Arabian stallion, show stopper, head turner, pain in the neck. New home required. This is a perfect opportunity for horse lover to own beautiful stallion with strong pedigree. No sensible offers above $500 refused. Deadline midnight Friday.

No pressure, but if no offers are made, horse will be taken to the public auction on Saturday. You may pick up this 900lb athlete at the auction for about 50 cents per pound, so do the math. However, you will be bidding against the usual array of butchers looking for cheap horse meat to recycle into premium dog food. Do not let this potential fate affect your judgement. Animal lovers only need apply.

Never say we don't look for new angles! This is a website built on the premise that John Lennon was assassinated because the Beatles claimed they were more popular than Jesus!

The More Popular than Jesus website puts everyone's life at risk by offering us the chance to compare our Google search results with Jesus' search results.



I guess there aren't too many religious nutters out there interested in popping someone who has snatched only 0.02% of the stats from Jesus?! That's a relief. I will be back tomorrow!

And don't burden yourselves with a click through to the Less popular than Jesus tee-short store - it is down. Cross it off the list.

btw, if you like these so-called pointless sites, check out our buddies at Generator Land. They have the funniest generators, and although they won't change your life, they will tickle you for quite a while, especially the Gangsta names. This is Ghetto Tatt signing off.

The Bourne Ultimatum - a James Bond movie on steroids... verging on a comedy at times... pretty cool, pretty unbelievable... Matt Damon is ugly

These were just some of the comments I overheard on the way out of a rinky dinky provincial movie house last night. After a couple of hours of flash backs, flashy car chases and flash action, everyone would have to agree, The Bourne Ultimatum was about as action-packed as a movie could be. With a certain amount of credibility, several clever twists and a dash of fantasy, this film has something for everyone with a pulse.

Flash backs

The premise was Matt Damon was on a search for who he was, like really was, before he became an assassin for the CIA. Somewhere along the line he had been brainwashed and the process came back to him in blurry flashbacks. I don't know how many times Matt Damon recalled having the black sack pulled down over his head before receiving a dunking of drowning proportions, (but twice would have been enough for me).

Stylistically, the flashbacks worked to eke out a little bit more info about Jason Bourne's rebirth as a cold killing machine, until the final showdown with Dr Evil Albert Finney, his mind altering boss. It was quite sick when he recalled being given a gun and told by Finney to shoot a guy in another black hood tied to a chair - It doesn't matter what he has done, kill him!" Hmm, life ain't so precious in the name of democracy, after all.

Perhaps Finney, who seems to have ballooned in direct proportion to the number of decent films he has made, should have worked his mental mind games on himself. What a whale. No need to shoot him, Jason, just give him a plate of donuts - that should induce a cardiac arrest.

Flashy car chases

Bourne did a world tour and had a chase in all the major cities. From a trials bike epic through Tangier to a drive off the top of a multi story car park in New York, Bourne was relentless with his wheels. The camera crews had trouble keeping up with him, judging by the style of blurry disjointed and out of shot filming. (Oh, apparently that was deliberate styling!)

I want one of those cop cars that can smash a load of chasers, jump, swerve and accelerate faster than a speeding bullet, and survive. I am sure in reality it was actually like Bullitt, where 92 cars were used in the filming of one chase? No American car could actually do all that stunt stuff more than once, but it was gripping stuff.

How funny, the way Jason Bourne drives. Slumped in the seat so his head is below the level of the windshield. Like his car door was bullet proof? Details.

Flash action

It had my heart racing just watching Bourne jumping over roof tops, flying through windows and fighting for his life against assasins from the same place learnt his art. But somehow Matt Damon kept his composure. To be fair, after 5 minutes of sprinting through Tangier washing lines, and invading the privacy of 3 families, before fighting a dour Jiu-jitsu style battle with the Morroccan operative sent to kill him, Jason Bourne did seem to be out of breath - but not to the extent a real human would have been.

Also, I want one of the inbuilt GPS chips in Bourne's head. At least that is what I think is enabling him to plot a route through unknown neighborhoods to catch his fleeing prey, or guide the first victim, the Guardian journalist, through busy Waterloo station. Garmin, buy buy buy!

In conconclusion

I don't think I told you anything you couldn't surmise from the trailers. The trailers however can't convey just how absorbing and exciting the whole film really is - even Mrs Ed, chief skeptic of all things blokey, had a good time - 10 out of ten for escapism and macho excitement.