Anti hopsicle or frozen beer on a stick laws suck
22/06/07 Filed in: Life style
In the news Tuesday, the rising popularity of Frozen Beer on a stick, or Hopsicle as the restaurateur is calling his latest creation, is raising concerns amongst anti-fun lobbyists and traffic cops. The Pisstakers can reveal that if legislators have their way, Sucking and driving will soon be illegal in the North East of America.
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
What the politicos say about hopsicles
No way should there be so much fun on a stick, says one politician.
Way says the Environmental lobby trying to reduce brown paper bag usage amongst alcoholics. This is the perfect vehicle for transporting your alcoholic beverage of choice in public without littering.
The police's voice of reason
Police are saying No way for the highway. There is currently no law to prevent you sucking a lollipop while driving, but consuming alcohol at the wheel will get you jailed. So anti hopsiclist cops suggest Two sucks and you are banned. That should keep the revenues rolling in - and as a spin off, keep the roads safe.
However the financial implications of stopping vehicles and testing the alcohol content of lollipops and ice creams has some police wincing. New Jersey police spokesman, Adolf Nofun, commented, Controlling use of this product will bring traffic to a stop and prevent the police from carrying out more important law enforcement duties, like ticketing parents for smoking in a car full of kids.
Family welfare agencies are also worried. If Moms are caught sucking a Hopsicle while smoking on the school run, thousands of families will be without an irresponsible mother for months at a time. They are therefore fighting any anti-Hopsicle legislation with a condescending passion.
Paris Hilton on Hopsicles
And finally, after being locked up for drunk driving, sex on a stick media whore, Paris Hilton, has been reported as saying that she is now angling to become the first celebrity to be jailed and counseled repeatedly for sucking and driving. Hugh Grant was only embarrassed by Devine Brown beyond all reasonable doubt when caught being sucked while a passenger in a taxi, so Paris has a legitimate claim if she pulls this next publicity stunt off.
The Pisstakers, however, are questioning why there is any issue at all, because as far as they know, the alcoholic content of North American beers is so low that the frozen beer Hopsicle is barely more intoxicating than a frozen wine gum!
We've linked to several web search engines offering random payments & prizes! Click the icon & search the keyphrase Cadillac CTS ad or web search. It is a win-win, perhaps!
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